I never thought university would be so stressful. it always seems like there is so little time to do everything I want to do. Not enough daylight hours.
And i have too many Ideas and too many thoughts and when I concentrate on one for a project, I get bored of it.
There's too much pressure and the thing is I don't even have pressurizing parents or boyfriend. I think I pressure myself to do so well and then I over-think everything. I imagine that the tutors are pressuring me too I think, but really it's just myself, not thinking I've impressed enough, that I've done nothing of worth.
So maybe Fine Art isn't driving me insane, maybe I'm doing it to myself.
And also, whilst I'm ranting, I'm fed up of friends putting pressure on me or telling me off for not doing what they expect me to do. Sometimes I just want to stay in, you know? Or go somewhere alone or not come back to uni halls just because you want me to.
And I think I pressure myself by being too focused on the final outcome of work. on having the perfect creative process.
I'm too stressed right now.
My new plan is to find out how to chill out about my work, or practice.
Sounds familiar! I think quite a few of us are going through this, both the 'pressured to go out when I don't fancy it' and the old "Must produce a masterpiece" (i know i do, conversely the stress makes the work stilted and not living up to what I can do.) Quite a few people i've spoken to are doing this as well...so you're not alone.
ReplyDeleteSupposedly this calms down in the second year and we all become cool.
Anyway, work wise, have you thought about doing a few smaller projects this time round, that can hold the interest and be experimental enough to not suffer from perfection anxiety or over analysing. I asked tutors about what the thought about a number of smaller projects as opposed to a mammoth one and they all seemed pretty keen. Seems they liked the experimentation of varied ideas and thought it was something advisable to do in the first year incase you come up with things to build on at later dates.
Thanks for the comment, I have taken your advice actually and am doing a few projects at once, only they all seem to be blending into one.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments, glad to know I'm not the only one.